Too Old for What? Dismantling Ageism from the Inside Out
- Dr. Mark Fagiano
- Jun 15
- 6 min read
Updated: Jun 30
Ageism is most often understood as a systemic and institutionalized discrimination against individuals based on their age. We find this mode of placing people in boxes and trying to keep them boxed in —as an unlawful action—in hiring practices, healthcare policies, media portrayals, and the tech industry.
Take the entertainment industry, for example. In a recent interview with The Wrap, actress Maggie Gyllenhaal experienced the full force of this type of ageism, revealing the time she was labeled as "too old" at age 37 to play the love interest of a 55-year-old male lead. “It was astonishing to me,” she said, “It made me feel bad, and then it made me angry, and then it made me laugh.” This isn’t as rare as it may be believed to be: a 2020 study by the USC Annenberg Inclusion Initiative found that only 11% of top-grossing films featured a woman over the age of 45 in a leading role—and when they did, she was often portrayed as lonely, bitter, or irrelevant.
Hollywood isn’t the only institution perpetuating this narrative of disempowerment. In many professions, women are still commonly portrayed as being “over the hill” or “beyond their prime” at precisely the same age that men are hitting their stride in their careers.
This first type of ageism—let’s call it structural ageism or gatekeeper ageism—can be resisted by means of legal challenges and public protest or outcry. It can be countered with lawsuits and complaints filed with the offices of this or that department. But the truth of the matter is this: this mode of ageism often goes unrecognized; it too commonly remains invisible, deeply normalized, and thus difficult to fight.
This is what makes it so very tragic.
If you have faced this type of discrimination, if this has happened to you, your public challenge of such immoral and illegal practices could very well make things better for you and for others, whose chances at flourishing have also suffered because of such limiting actions. But such contestations are often costly in unforeseeable ways. Thus, challenging powerful institutions is never without risk, and the forces arrayed against fairness are often well-defended.
Sometimes it is best to fight this type of disempowerment, while other times it is clearly best to walk away from such toxic environments. Consider the costs, weigh the benefits, think about the conceivable consequences, then choose.
The Ageism Within
Now, in addition to this type of ageism, there is another kind of ageism—one that doesn't come from an institution but rather from within. This one ought not simply be challenged but destroyed, however and whenever it appears, in whatever manner it places limitations on either your creative imagination or your attempts at trailblazing a new path of empowerment.
Let’s call this type of ageism, internalized ageism, which is a subtle, sometimes unconscious, belief that we are “too old” to start something new, change direction, or grow into a different version of ourselves. Unlike structural ageism, which is imposed from the outside, internalized ageism is self-inflicted.
But here's the truth: it can be just as limiting as structural ageism, perhaps, at times, even more so. Let me tell you about someone who had every reason to give in to internalized ageism—but didn’t. Her name was Toni Morrison. At 39 years of age, Morrison could have believed she was too late to the game to begin a career as an author. She was a mother of three who juggled her job as an editor at Random House with the other everyday responsibilities of living her life and serving her community.
She could have listened to that inner voice (that some of us may have on occasion) that she was too old to forge a new path, that she should be satisfied with what she already had, or that the security of her life is not worth risking for a dream, that inner vision that she imagined as possible to enact, to realize, but no one else saw. Thankfully, Morrison didn’t listen to that voice of misplaced doubt, maybe she never even heard such a voice. She enacted her dream, not only succeeding in becoming an author but in redefining authorship itself. Morrison’s refusal to believe that her time had sailed has led me to think of the following truths that are helpful to follow for anyone who wishes to avoid, like Morrison, the vicious, consuming vortex of internalized ageism.
Your Imagination Has No Expiration Date
Morrison lived as if the creative spirit has no deadline (by the way, it doesn’t). She strove in life as if beginning something anew and becoming something better can be done again and again, with greater success each time.
When it comes to one’s goals and the pursuit of a dream, what could be sadder than one’s potential for greatness becoming utterly immobilized? Life is short, and we all have our expiration date, our days are numbered, and there is little time to express the beauty our creative minds may exude. You have seen it, and so have I, where fear paralyzes the mind and an unwarranted lack of confidence stifles one’s action toward something new, inspiring, and life changing.
This is a sadness in life: unrealized potential lying dormant. But this need not be; this need not become your tune, your song, for your creative imagination does not have an expiration date, though you can falsely believe that it does or prove that it does by not acting.
Embrace Your Solitude as Opportunities for Reflection and Transformation
Oftentimes, the opportunities to start something anew, to forge a new direction in life, or to redirect our lives toward a new possibility is destroyed by our own making as we refuse to embrace the silence--the few moments of solitude that if kissed could bring into our lives a whole new love of life that invigorates our spirits and rekindles that deep flame, burning, reminding us that we are alive and powerful, that life is, indeed, always replete with possibility and new beginnings.
Of course, it is true that the attainment of certain goals is no longer possible as aging closes off certain realms of possibility (I will no longer strive to be the center of the Los Angeles Lakers), but every age contains different kinds, colors, and shades of brilliance. By setting out some time each day to remember this truth and reflect upon how a full embrace of it might impact our lives, we can embrace those short segments of silence that become available to us, as whispers, reminding us that it is completely within our power to enrich our futures, to redesign ourselves and our lives at any age.
Here is some truth: independent of what anyone has to say about your age or whatever limitations institutions place upon you, with age comes insight and strategy that, if embraced and followed, can propel us upon a new path based on what we have learned. Age brings something no feeling or reality of youthfulness can provide--and that is perspective.
Begin Boldly, Begin Now
William James--the great American philosopher--recognized that if we want to make a change then we need to start immediately. Each of us is, he said, a “bundle of habits”, and given this truth whenever you wish to produce a new habit, you should take care to “never suffer an exception to occur till the new habit is securely rooted in your life.”
So, begin now. On your terms, on your new path. Your age does not disqualify you.
It is never too late to start; it is never too late to strive toward self-determined greatness.
Never believe anyone—especially not yourself—who tells you that you’ve missed your chance.
You are never past your prime until your imagination quits rewriting what might be possible, for you are never past your prime until you believe you are.
Written by Dr. Mark Fagiano
Mark Fagiano is an assistant professor of philosophy at Washington State University and is the author of Practicing Empathy: Pragmatism and the Value of Relations. He is currently writing on issues in American Pragmatism, ethics, artificial intelligence, and democratic theory.
Contact: mfagiano@gmail.com
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The opinions expressed in this guest post are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of EXPERT ON YOUR LIFE, LLC. Any inquiries or concerns regarding the content should be directed to the author and not to EXPERT ON YOUR LIFE, LLC.
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This piece really made me pause. The distinction between structural and internalized ageism is so powerful. I've definitely felt that quiet, inner voice telling me I'm too late—but this reminded me that I still have chapters to write. Thank you for that.
My mum went back to university at 60 and finished her degree at 63. She’s my Morrison. This article brought tears to my eyes—it reminded me of her strength and the fire she refused to let die.
I appreciate the message, especially the example of Toni Morrison, but I wish there were more diverse voices included—what about ageism faced by men or BIPOC communities? Still, it’s a compelling call to action.